Since we've moved to the lake, we occasionally have our families over. They are a complete joy, and as it turns out, quite the muse. It all began on a perfectly warm, sunny day. The two oldest kids had spent the night, and by noon, were still camped out on the couches unmoved. This is where the tale begins. The story of our week together and their quest for my life...
It's been hours. Their movements are so many that they have, alas, arrived in their original resting places. I did not witness this, but surely it must be so. The speed with which they executed such placements evades my sight. The silence consumes me, and I am certain they are plotting my demise. The communication devices they possess network them into a vicious machine of technology that no man can stop. Don't let their docile facade fool you... They must be out for blood. I believe they have also possessed the dogs. One snores behind me, and I now am terrified for my life. The sunshine outside beckons them, and they move not. Their calmness is unnerving. I must go for now, but I will report back within the hour. If you do not hear from me, know this... They are dangerous and cannot be stopped. Escape now while you still can. You will not see them coming. They are much too quick.
Good luck.
The Lake House Fortress
Update #2
I am still alive, but I cannot say for how long. There has been movement in their camp, and the air of impending doom is almost more than I can bear. The wild-haired one is exceptionally shady, randomly laughing while looking at her device. It's evil. I must go again. The boy just darted out the door. I'm afraid reinforcements have arrived by water. Two small ones, and a tall blonde. She's loud. It's terrifying. Remember me as I go into battle. I will be valiant and brave. If I survive, I will report again before nightfall.
The Lake House Fortress
Update #3
I underestimated the power of the little ones... It's total chaos. I know for sure they have overtaken the dogs now. The largest one (I believe he is the alpha male) has held down the wild-haired one and passed air through his back side onto her. I believe this is their fuel. The foul stench has engulfed their living quarters, and I am trapped. Please send help. I fear tomorrow will be too late.
Until then,
The Lake House Fortress
Update #4
I've been kidnapped. I was taken to a store. It is more likened to a warehouse of torture. The combatants gather there to barter for goods. Entering the doors makes even the most sane individuals crazy. This has to be their plan for me. It's formal name is "Walmart." Never come to this place. The largest portion of the trip is a blur. I must have blacked out, but I do remember the wild-haired one stepping on my shoe. I nearly died.
We arrived back at the fortress safely, but it has been overtaken. One of the dogs looks drugged, and the other is producing the same gases as shown by the alpha male earlier. And the look of satisfaction on his face... I can no longer speak of this.
The small ones get louder. I am being beckoned. It is time to retreat. I am... Oh, no...
Update #5
I am back; hidden for now. For a moment, I felt as though I was succumbing to their wiles. Their cuteness is deceiving. Now, they war among themselves. The dog mocks them, and I know there is hope. I must find rest to recover from the last battle. They willed me to board their water vessel; like a fool, I agreed. I thought it best at the time not to resist them. I was wrong. Before I knew it, I found myself being dragged behind this motor powered monstrosity on less than a dinghy with my only life strand being a mere rope. I squealed in terror while they laughed. It was humiliating, yet another of their devices to wear me down. As I pleaded for my life, they finally pulled me once again to safety. I will not forget this. I must be avenged.
The worst is not over. I know this now, but I will be brave. Once I have replenished my hunger, I will begin my quest to reclaim the fort. May God be with you, my friend, as you journey to help me. I await your visit.
Proceed cautiously,
The Lake House Fortress
Update #6
The smallest one touches everything. I do not know if I can use this to my advantage, but I am noting it for future reference. Also, the dog follows them closely while they feed. I may be able to launch a surprise attack while they are distracted. There is talk of the group dissipating. I will wait and see. I have planned a viewing of scary motion pictures later for the eldest ones. I believe this tactic will prove useful on the boy and wild-haired one. I fear the alpha male will require more work. He is not easily shaken, and they look to him for guidance. I will not be able to overcome him with brute force. I must outwit him somehow. He is clever; it will not be an easy task. I will continue to observe his weaknesses.
Finally, the tall blonde seems confused, and the dog chases her. She soothes him with a pat. This is only temporary. The calm will not last for long.
I must go. The large ones remain still while the small ones circle them in the room singing the songs of their people. I am unfamiliar with this ritual and must observe more closely.
The Lake House Fortress
Update #7
The little ones are turning blue. It is worrisome, but they seem unaffected. They have, however, grown restless. They pace endlessly, walking outdoors, only to return in again. The air in the room changes with each trip. I wonder if this is the conditioning of the air they speak of. The rest of the group grows restless as well. They have patience for nothing, save the making of something they lovingly refer to as "chocolatey goodness" or "Frosty's."
I suppose being behind enemy lines has its perks.
Update #8
Press on weary soldier, for I have found weakness in the alpha male. His demise shall be in the fiery flame of his fecal matter, made of cinnamon disks and fireballs. He also leaves a visible trail of wrappers in his path. The end is nigh...
Update #9
In an effort to thwart enemy surveillance, I have changed our communications channel. The tall blonde discovered our previous writings and has become delirious. I fear for my life. A new plan will have to be devised. I will update with any new findings. More video documentation will follow. Please find me upon your arrival. If we strike now while the blonde is weak, we may have a chance.
The Lake House Fortress
Update #10
I cannot hide my disappointment. My scare tactics for the boy and wild-haired one have failed. I know plan B will not be as effective, but I must try. We will view a mildly scary film. My only hope lies in their dwindling numbers. I have successfully separated them from the tall blonde and small ones. The alpha male remains, but I sense their alliance is one of dictatorship, and thus, subject to fall. This battle may be lost, but the war is not over. I have never been more determined.
I will delay this transmission until morning, assuming I survive.
The Lake House Fortress
Update #11
It is morning. They let me live. The boy even moans war cries in his sleep. I must not let them know I am afraid. The wild-haired one stirs last. The alpha male retreats to his tower. The others wait for his return, watching, like silent guards. There is word of more soldiers. I have until lunch. They treat me as a slave, and I must prepare the rooms for their reinforcements. It is disgraceful, but I do as I must to survive.
The dogs seem to have returned to their normal beings, meaning the spells they cast are only temporary. I will use this time to train them for my next move. I am certain I will have them ready before the next platoon arrives. I will have them launch attack before the new combatants can enter the quarters.
Wish me luck,
The Lake House Fortress
Update #12
The venue is not in ideal conditions. Daylight has stricken, and I no longer have the cover of darkness to air my frightening motion picture. I must try, though. The enemies claim to be immune, but I know the truth. I must wait for darkness to fall again to finish the task.
The Lake House Fortress
Update #13
I am making progress. The combatants succumbed to the bribes of bean dip. The alpha male has called me "boss". My soul rejoices. The boy, however, appears to be of alien decent. He dips potato chips in chocolate ice cream. This disturbs me but explains much. The dog is now ready for battle. He defends me against the alpha male.
Again, I must go. Their armies have multiplied. The moon is also out in full daylight. This surely cannot be a good sign. I resign myself to battle.
The Lake House Fortress
Update #14
The battle has been fierce. The full moon still shines. The water propelled motor craft rebuked the wild-haired one. This was of little effect as the combatants glide easily through the water. The little ones squeal with delight. They enjoy the ploys of war. The leader of the new army bears strange markings. This may be a map of their plans. We shall see.
The Lake House Fortress
Update #15
I have had little time to update on the status of the fortress. The tall blonde with the little ones arrived back at the fort in time to join forces with the native army. Together with the newly arrived enemies, the male terrorists worked vigorously to extract finned monsters from the deep to show their masculine superiority. This proved a dangerous task as the smallest native was unskilled with his spear of string and hook. Their attempts were unyielding.
On shore, the female native monitors the younglings. She wears her weapon upon her nose; it's appearance is small, but I am certain it is deadly and remains there for quick access. She bonds with the tall blonde. The little ones have united with the small natives. This may be the most lethal of the unions. Their speed and tireless antics are difficult to follow. I have noticed, however, that they do not float on their own accord but are wrapped in foam. I attempt to keep them submerged, but they continue to return to dry land and request nourishment.
Hours later, my spirit is broken. Just before my surrender, help arrived from the home base. My rebel ally wearied the tall blonde and hypnotized the wild-haired one with song. Not long after, the boy and little ones followed suit.
The dog still cannot be trusted. Seeing the reduction of the group, he tried to procreate with the leader of the native resistance. I am both disturbed and amused.
It appears that war has taken its toll on the natives as well. Discord is sown throughout their camp, and they speak of retreating. I watch as they reason with one another, but sanity left us all hours ago. They sneak to their chariot as a unit, and before I know it, I am left at the fortress with only the alpha male and the dogs. I am unprepared for this. A foul odor radiates from the room of sanitation, and I fear it is a trap of poisonous gas. Or, perhaps a power transfer has occurred. I cannot risk taking the alpha male alone. I am forced to postpone my strike until morning. Gas radiates from beneath my resting quarters where the filthy canine beast is hidden. The other seemingly docile dog separates me from the alpha male. I see through her petty attempts to snuggle, but it is too late to fight it. When morning breaks, I will construct a new plan.
Holding strong,
The Lake House Fortress
Update #16
The canine beast has been defeated! He is resilient. This may only be temporary, but a small, sweet victory it is!
Update #17
Today, the assailants prepare to celebrate the age progression of one of the little ones. There are signs of patriotism everywhere, and it seems their stronghold is worse than I imagined. I cannot stop now. My quest is clear; I must conquer the world. My new mission will begin tomorrow. I will infiltrate their medical facilities and study their blood. But for now, I will deliver a peace offering to the little one. I will woo her with a small stallion. I will sing to her songs of celebration. I WILL be brave.
The Lake House Fortress
Update #18
This is an emergency update. The party is a cover for an attempt at my life. The wiles of the tall blonde are more than I anticipated. A death trap was placed discreetly in the floor. She denies ill will. I know this to be true though, as she previously charged the wooden structure at shore with her motorized water craft. She is ruthless and unopposed to eliminating members of her own clan in order to terminate me. I must be watchful.
The Lake House Fortress
Update #19
The little ones adorn themselves in colorful clothing and tribal jewelry. Their glistening beads distract me. The alpha male retreats to the cleansing room. I almost forgot his whereabouts until the vile smells began dissipating from beneath the door. I am now certain these powerful bombs of stink contain evil sorcery. I attempted to document his strength, but his speed evades my electronic devices. They practice war among themselves.
The group has grown by two. The wiry male is goofy. I am unalarmed with his presence. The other male, the dipper of snuff, is questionable. His silence is off putting. He cheats with words. I will expose him.
The wild-haired one is eerily quiet today, and the boy remains hidden. I feel consolation that my home base ally is near. I believe she claims hold on the wiry one, and many of the others bow to her commands. I will learn this power and cast it upon the alpha male.
I must leave you for now. The combatants labor to feed us, and I must monitor their work.
The Lake House Fortress
Update #20
It is apparent now why the small ones require supervision. The littlest on attempts to saddle the alpha male. Clearly, she is confused. Her untamed energy must prove useful to his agenda. Keeping them around also inspires the tall blonde to serve tasty treats. Knowing this, I understand their commitment. The eldest of the little ones promises labor in return for the torture of being dragged behind a water vessel. She is also clearly delusional. It may be possible to convert them to my army given their states of mind. I should know before the midnight hour.
The Lake House Fortress
Update #21
The enemies invited me to a game of wits. Their arrogant confidence proved to be their weakness. The wiry one's refusal to accept my triumph was notable. Arguments ensued, but in the end I prevailed by way of knowledge in long haired Southerners. They now mope quietly in their defeat.
The Lake House Fortress
Update #22
I am bewildered by the enemy combatants' display of explosives. They have summoned their recruits by water and by land. My only disguise is the vale of darkness. They shoot at will but have yet to make contact. My earlier display of knowledge must have given them a false impression of my mortality. Surely they must realize such firepower is overkill. My home base ally shares in my plight. We manage to split up their armies, but again, I find myself alone with the alpha male. I do not think he will strike alone. I am safe for now, but tonight's display of fireworks proves that I must act expediently. I will honor my commitment. My quest to win back the world begins tomorrow, promptly at 8:00am.
The Lake House Fortress
Update #23
I successfully infiltrated the enemies medical facilities, however, this did not go well. Their numbers are too many, and their suspicion is obvious, calling me by names such as "vampire". I will continue my analysis as best I can, but I must first regain my strength.
Back at the fortress, there is flooding. The combatants seem to control the heavens and have been leaking droplets if water since the arrival of my home base ally and continue to do so long after her departure. The effects on my demeanor are taxing. Apparently, they even command the fouls of the air. The beasts hurl their bodies against the fortress windows in attempts on my life. They succeeded only in scaring the bejesus out of me.
The watering from the heavens continues. Their slick death traps now lie all among the outdoors. Despite my greatest efforts, I nearly skidded to my end on several occasions. Even the alpha male is subject to these perilous invisibilities, faltering to the ground once on his own.
The canine beasts remain dubious. The snoring canine beast implements his own missions of inspecting the enemy combatants' sleeping quarters while they are away. His sloppy execution leaves behind evidence of ruffled pillows. He knows I disprove, but his sneaky efforts are somewhat admirable. I bring this report to a close. Research via "Animal Planet" beckons me.
Until then,
The Lake House Fortress
Update #24
Poisonous oaks wreak havoc on my outer membrane. How did this occur? I am certain it is another of their devices to control me. Ironically, I must now seek assistance from the very facility I wish to destroy. The medicine I require is contained within. The itchy distress is unbearable.
