Welcoming the New Year with New Posts!

January 1, 2014

If You Do It, Do It Well

Happy New Year!  Today, I accomplished the impossible.  I flushed a toothbrush down the toilet.  I know what you’re thinking.  How might one achieve such a feat?  I was flushing murky cleaning water and forgot it was in there.  No sooner had I watched the brush spill from the bucket than the toilet automatically performed it’s magical flush, as it does when too much water is added, and swallowed up my utensil.  I had to confess my error to Donald since it’s definitely causing a problem.  Sure, I could’ve tried the denial card, but what do you say when your husband pulls a toothbrush out of the toilet when unclogging it?  “No.  I have no idea how a toothbrush (that looks exactly like the one I was scrubbing with earlier today) got there.”  Besides, you can’t see it, and I didn’t want him to, ahem, USE it, not knowing there was an issue.  The only thing I can imagine that would be worse than a toothbrush in the toilet is chasing said toothbrush with a little bit of poo.  Looks like a trip to Walmart for a new toilet seal is in order.  The porcelain throne must be temporarily surrendered from its resting spot.  Sigh… Life without me would be dull.

January 3, 2014

The Great Rescue

A few days of trips to the bathroom downstairs and several failed attempts at extraction later, we finally removed the toilet and jabbed anything we could find in all directions to free the toothbrush, all to no avail.  Even with the toilet freed from the floor, there was no reaching the spirally abyss of the inner chambers to remove the foreign object.  Our final efforts included placing the magical poop dispenser in our shower, filling the bowl and tank with water from the shower hose, and flushing a long piece of twine repeatedly until something wonderful happened-- Finally, after hours of interesting maneuvers involving rubber gloves, the twine grabbed hold of something.  We carefully pulled the string, and I SAW IT!  The toothbrush breached the entrance of the watery labyrinth, and the crisis was over.  The throne is now freshly sealed in place once again, and I vow to only dispense of my soapy water outdoors.  Forever.